- Synchronicity
- Whenever something goes wrong you just happen to find the manual lying around next to you.
- Pineal Gland
- You just 'know' what the solution to the problem happens to be. Note: Use of this support option to fake being a consultant violates the support contract and will result in a poke in the third eye with a pointy stick
- Traditional Support
- Four hours of ring ring noises and a phone queue that then cuts you off. For an extra 15% charge the gold support contract entitles you to be insulted and mislead by two human beings who will then forward you to the phone queue.
- Email Support
- Your message is normally lost, always answered twice or never, and with two different answers. All replies will be in base 64 encoded nroff with embedded eqn gzipped , fed through stuffit and packed into a macintosh hqx file.
Technical Support Officer
ODD# 3.0.i-21Di3165
