Discordian MIS: Technical Support

The following support packages are available
Whenever something goes wrong you just happen to find the manual lying around next to you.
Pineal Gland
You just 'know' what the solution to the problem happens to be. Note: Use of this support option to fake being a consultant violates the support contract and will result in a poke in the third eye with a pointy stick
Traditional Support
Four hours of ring ring noises and a phone queue that then cuts you off. For an extra 15% charge the gold support contract entitles you to be insulted and mislead by two human beings who will then forward you to the phone queue.
Email Support
Your message is normally lost, always answered twice or never, and with two different answers. All replies will be in base 64 encoded nroff with embedded eqn gzipped , fed through stuffit and packed into a macintosh hqx file.

Technical Support Officer

ODD# 3.0.i-21Di3165
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