The following support packages are available
- Whenever something goes wrong you just happen to find the manual lying
around next to you.
- Pineal Gland
- You just 'know' what the solution to the problem happens to be.
Note: Use of this support option to fake being a consultant
violates the support contract and will result in a poke in the third eye
with a pointy stick
- Traditional Support
- Four hours of ring ring noises and a phone queue that then cuts you off.
For an extra 15% charge the gold support contract entitles you to be
insulted and mislead by two human beings who will then forward you to the
- Email Support
- Your message is normally lost, always answered twice or never, and with
two different answers. All replies will be in base 64 encoded nroff with
embedded eqn gzipped , fed through stuffit and packed into a macintosh hqx